oatmeal_queen: ((breathe.))
if i could have one day to see you; to hear your voice and watch you smile, i would wish it was fifteen days from now. i wouldn't have been getting married six years ago obviously, but i wish you could have been there anyway.
i don't get to walk down the aisle with you, and the thought hurts so much that my chest aches, but your sons are picking up the slack, so don't worry :3

another year gone, still the single most horrible day of my life to date, and still i miss you with all of my heart <3

it's time to make March a better anniversary.
oatmeal_queen: (blood on my icecream)
a great big fancy hearted and brilliant THANKYOU to everyone who assisted me in my last journal post <3 srsly, i asked, and you guys delivered. soooo much appreciation as i am now caught up. with like, everything. not that there was much, but hey, i'm entertained.
so yeah :3 you guys rock socks.

and hot damn, Dean. what's with the whole being a dick to Cas thing? dude. he's not your pet. quit it. Cas? Smack a bitch. learned him last time.
and i don't care what anyone says, i still <3 cute little souless Sam. (cuz we didn't see that coming? pfft) the apathy is actually quite amusing and really well played.
yay show!

in other news...
after spending two weeks in the wilderness, under endless skies and enormous walls of rock with no roads, no technology and no white sound....now? its NOISE.OVERLOAD. GAH.

not even kidding, i thought i was going to crawl out of my skin at work today. there was just...so.much.SOUND. and this is all normal sound! for here, at least, something i've long gotten used to living in this horrible city. nothing was out of the ordinary except for me.
but sweet jesus was it difficult, and more than a little anxiety inducing. i wanted to stuff cotton in my ears and call it a day.

by the time i got to the end of my ten hour shift, they started up the earth shaking machine vacuum cleaners and i had just had it. i was out, faster than i'd like to admit. augh, wtfkillmenow. sirens in the parking lot, cars and honking and echoes and highways and meowing and neighbors and just...sdghjkalsdgkjhg.

i'm gonna acclimate, i do know this (sooner rather than later plz) but damn does it make me miss the canyon even more now. not that i, you know, wanna live there or anything...but damn.
i pity my race. no wonder we can't really hear things anymore.

and with that, i'm going to go sound proof my semi-dark yet somehow yellow-lit room and bury myself in blankets until my ears stop ringing.
i really miss all those stars ;.;

vacay report to come, as soon as i get my camera from teh molly. i know i've got some awesome pics so if anyone is the least bit interested, feel free to stick around :3
but yeah, now. noise. sucks out loud.
oatmeal_queen: (furious news)
1. Pull on socks
2. Not see the cat that suddenly chose that moment to lay under your raised foot
3. Trip on cat
4. Ram toe into floor trying to stay standing (equivalent of basically kicking a wall with no shoes)
5. Scream expletives
6. ?????
7. Profit?


ugh. OW. owowowowowow.
if i had broken my toe, i'd have killed that cat. cute and fluffy or not. two weeks before i leave for the grand canyon and breaking my feet is VERY NOT COOL.

iz all swollen and achy tho ;__;

in other news, last night was my first nyquil free night in six days. wow, october. you're like, my favorite month. why you do dis?
oatmeal_queen: (sleepy chibiusa)
Just dropping a quick note on here to let everyone know that I am ok :3

i'm home from the hospital, with my mom taking care of me, and so far so good. aside from it being really damn painful (duh), everything is fine. they told me at the hospital that i was doing better than normal and aside from my oxygen levels having issues, there were no problems they were concerned over.

thankyou everyone for your emails, your comments, txts and calls. i appreciate it all more than you'd ever believe <3 truly.
haven't been taking many visitors, but that's just cause i'm grumpy and achy and i keep falling asleep. lol. it'll get better as the days go, then i can start seeing people again, promise.

love you all!
(and i have some really awesome scars, btw. mwahaha)
<3
oatmeal_queen: (lick me button)
ugh. gawd i feel ill x___X

Just got back from ACEN a few hours ago (12 hour drive to Chicago and 12 hour drive back through empty farmlands of Ohio in small car makes E something something...)

The con was decent enough. AA was a crock-o-crap, but that's mainly cause someone thought it would be a good idea to stick us in the same room and hours as the dealers room. lamesauce. that, and as always, everyone wants the fan stuff, so original characters be damned. kids these days XP
i think we broke even tho, so all is not lost.

HOWEVER
the cosplaying was much fun :3 [livejournal.com profile] happytemplar posted a few pics of me and she in her latest entry and i'm actually kinda proud of myself. cause i can tell that all the damn dieting i've been doing actually did something and i looked pretty good :D (ya know, as a dude and all) my poor hair XD

also awesome, in the dealer's room they had a setup that was selling EVERY SINGLE COPIC COLOR AND REFILL KNOWN TO MAN. thus, my paycheck is spent. u.u and i has more markers. i am weak, i know, and poor, but happy :P

also got to see [livejournal.com profile] bouncy_erbear and [livejournal.com profile] clemmontine as the only two others that could make it this year from our pile of crazyawesome that was last year. i miss you guys already!! <3

am catching up as much as my poor eyes will allow me.
i totally forgot about the whole damn different time zone thing on thursday and turned on the tv just in time to catch the last five minutes of Supernatural. which was a whole lotta AUGHWTFJUSTHAPPENED. *roll credits* @___@
so i had to wait til i got home before i could watch it. this is after passing about twenty Impala's on the trip (2009's, don't get too excited), traveling through the city of Mishawaka, Indiana (so not kidding), and that the most popular brand of milk in the Chicago area is apparently 'Dean's milk'. my life is a sitcom.

crisis averted, however, cause i just watched it. which of course left me with an AUGHWTFJUSTHAPPENED anyway. *sigh* the season finale is gonna be worse, i know it. X3

still need to get the latest ep of FMA:Brotherhood that i missed, and backlog through a million things i probably don't care about on LJ -.- so halfhearted is the key here.
i'm off work tomorow, therefore i plan on being in a coma until the early afternoon where i will promptly drag my ass out of the apartment, grab [livejournal.com profile] happytemplar, and FINALLY GO SEE STAR TREK.
screw you guys and your teasing ALL damn weekend XP you suck.

i would REALLY LOVE TO HEAR FROM THE UK CON SOMETIME SOON. how bout now? now? SOONER? *facedesk*

meh, i'm gonna curl up in bed with some World War Z until my eyes cross. *poof*

edit: asdjkl;askjgh i wasn't paying attention and missed the House finale DX FAIL.
oatmeal_queen: (Fosters Blue bluuurrggghhh)
There was a 30 degree drop in temperature from yesterday to today.

...

is there anywhere on this planet i can live and NOT get pressure migraines because of this crap?
cause srsly. wtf. i couldn't even sit at my computer without wanting to claw my eyes out. everything about yesterday SUCKED.
(except for you [livejournal.com profile] psychosako. you made my day so much less suck with the yummy food the geeking and the artiness, i ♡ u)

Bring it on ACen, i am so ready for a road trip.
oatmeal_queen: (spn - walking brothers)
Four years to the day, and I still miss you Dad.
Not much else to say besides that.
i just wonder sometimes what things would be like if you were still here. <3
~*~

So today is gonna be fun.
I've graduated from being unable to sit on anything without horrible pain to feeling like i'm sitting on rocks instead. ouch. On the plus side, I can work again, but not all that comfortably x.x This can totally be over now, kthnx.
i would srsly love to be lying down right now.

Still, I'm trying hard to keep in good spirits and otherwise stay occupied for as long as possible. :) These kind of anniversaries shouldn't really mean much compared to the overall. It's not like I miss him any less on days that aren't today, but still. Harder not to think about four years before now on the day itself. i wonder if it'll be the same in ten years.

Still drawing like crazy (woot) and getting Asylum commish work done. I've gotten my first bit of approval so far with the go ahead to continue to inks, so i'm happy for that :3
also got chibis to do for ACEN
and smut to draw for others whenever i get chibied out (which, speaking of, [livejournal.com profile] strangeandcharm did you get my email? i dunno if i sent it to the right address or not -.- i wasn't sure)
i want so much to break out my markers and get my groove back, but i've gotta keep with the time management things to get stuff done. Especially since both Asylum and Acen are in the same month. eep.

Gonna waste time tonight with [livejournal.com profile] happytemplar and [livejournal.com profile] dizziness in the hopes of being in distractinggood company and getting work done.
*hugself*
oatmeal_queen: (serenity pfffffft)
I am so glad this week is over x.x ugh.
Ended up going to the docs afterall, but thankfully we all pretty much agree that I simply bruised the hell outta my tailbone and nothing is actually broken. Course, I think I could have been able to tell if it was, but still. Glad to know its something that will just take time to heal, and WILL heal.

on the unfortunate side, sitting is still a bad idea. that, and i had to miss another day of work since the doc gave me Vicodin and told me to go home and get off my ass (lol) thus, i spent another day bored to tears at home and feeling bad for getting nothing done this week >.< mnargh. of all weeks, especially since i know things are busy at work. lame.

i didn't even get to see Watchmen yet ;.; even with the time off, i can't even sit in a chair for ten minutes, let alone three hours. i'd lay in an aisle if they didn't have science experiments for floors.
totally lost the chance to go for the NJcon this weekend too, but oh well. money i shouldn't spend anyway and a long trip that my tailbone would not have enjoyed. meeting Misha and getting to see Sammy would have been cool, but not if i'm cranky and hurting. no one deserves that. (miss u girl!)

the bizarre thing about this whole experience tho, is the fact that i noticed after i started taking the Vicodin that, even though my tailbone was still kinda aching, my knees didn't hurt AT ALL. it weirded me out at first until i realized what was going on. then i got excited about it. and then it just made me sad. cause srsly, should it really be this shocking to NOT have the pain in my knees?
Christie laughed and told me I was like House.
Ironically, she was the second person to say that to me recently. ifail.
and tho i know better than to think i can just keep taking the stuff, it gives a bit of a perspective as to why these things can get addicting. i'd love to be able to walk around like this all of the time without pain, but long term meds at this kinda strength can do other kinds of damage and i know better. *el sigh*

another weird thing about this injury and totally TMI is that i think i forced something to shift in my hip where it usually wouldn't rotate (lol, that sounds weird) i was stretching my poor bruised muscles and realized i could move backwards in a way i hadn't before. not painfully, just different and a bit more flexible. nothing like a little forced and repeatedly jarring pain to reset some boundaries. ouch.

on the plus side, the one good thing about being home this much means that i've been getting commission work and con art done, and that's a -big- plus. also, been just doodling in general with whatever i feel like, and i'm happy to have my muse again. still haven't touched the markers, but i know i'll get there. i had a spot in the old house where i would do all of my coloring, and i think i just need to find that kinda thing here in the new place.

oh! a question for all the SPN peeps on my f-list. Part of the commission i'm doing includes the YED, and for the life of me, i can't think of a pose for him that isn't just him standing there looking menacing with his arms crossed. I mean, srsly, there HAS to be something else i can have him doing without looking too dumb. I know the guy wasn't exactly an action star...but isn't there something, anything else he could be doing? it's chibi, but i still have a decent range of what i can work with. anybody got any ideas? help?

ouch

Mar. 4th, 2009 08:46 am
oatmeal_queen: (fma - save me superman)
holy friggen son of a...
i think i was born with a certain quota of just how much i should be injured on a weekly basis.
seriously, so not kidding here.
because this week? it's been pretty mellow. no bruises, my knees don't hurt, my shoulder doesn't hurt, nothing broken or bleeding or healing or anything of the like.

so this morning? i slipped on the ice and went down a flight of stairs.

i thought i could go to work just fine after chilling for a little, but sitting here now is agony. so i'm gonna go home and lay down.
someone kill me.
or give me a hug. or something. cause this hurts so damn much ;___;

Argh

Feb. 9th, 2009 08:29 pm
oatmeal_queen: (garfield - forehead)
ok, so maybe no drawing afterall. *sigh*
Cause I, being the ever productive one *snort*, decided it would be more beneficial to unpack more of my crap than to sit on a pile of clothes with a sketchbook.
(and i decided this, why?)

Thus I followed this bout of productivity by promptly smashing my baby finger between a door frame and a box full of books.
DX< OW.
it's a nice pretty shade of purple now, but thankfully not broken.

I also fell off my bed while hanging a plant. hit nothing but the floor tho.
I am a goddamn hazard x_x
oatmeal_queen: (copic eat babies)
so, among the many things I've been itching to do lately (some smarter than others) I decided to go ahead with the piercing urge I've had since, like, september.
As proud as I am to say that, once again, and as with the rest of my piercings, this was done on a whim and decided for at the last minute. X) I like that I can say that about every single one i have, lol. makes it nostalgic in some masochistic kinda way. So I walked in this time and promptly went for the nose. easy target, considering, but should be fun and cute nontheless.

In a not-so-proud moment, on the other hand, despite the fact that getting pierced doesn't really scare me or make me nervous in any way, the moment the needle went through the cartilage, my body promptly decided to BLEED PROFUSELY with whatever amount happened to be stored in me from the neck up. wtf. Srsly, it was like a battle zone, and the tiny thing didn't even hurt! there was just the familiar crunch and then *GUSH*. ACK.

so after five minutes of blood donation all over the poor woman's hands and down the front of me, plus an added millionth time of apologizing, i ended up with my nose pierced. (she was a good sport at least, :) made fun of me and everything)
and it looks cute on me ^.^ so I regret nothing.
Tho it was a good thing i was wearing a black jacket, but even then, the white zipper got all stained and you can still see most of the splotches in good light. Nikki says I should keep it on there like some sort of mark of battle XD i'd be tempted if it wasn't hygenically hazardous.
heaven forbid I ever get punched in the nose man. I'll lose everything I've got first shot. yeeeesh.

on a side note, (and completely off topic) I finally got my hands on a good set of contacts lens in my prescription that -actually- turn my eyes blue! woo! FINALLY.
I'm itching to costume SO bad, it's not even funny. if only i could lose the weight in my legs ;.; but unfortunately i know that's gonna be the last thing to go since it was the first to gain. damnit.
Although, on that same track, i'm convinced our house scale is trying to tease me into a false sense of thiness. I'm so close now to having lost fifty lbs...soooo close. *finger cross*

i'm itching to try a new medium again. >.>
or maybe even go back to an old one.
...hmm.
oatmeal_queen: (denial)
i know it's earlier than my usual posts, but i wanted to write this stuff down before it gets purged with all the rest of my daily dose of useless information. this, of course, being something i need to remember.

My appt was this morning with the bone doc. he was a bit more civil today, and seemed slightly more sympathetic (which is saying something), so i wasn't as terrified speaking with him. which was nice, to say the least ^^;

What you really didn't need to know about my knee )

one of the final things the doc mentioned today was about losing weight (it was a quick little snippet he stuck in without looking at me) but i'm working on that anyway, so that adds more motivation for me right there. despite the tea party that i cheated with yet had so much fun at last weekend, i still ended up losing 3 lbs this week.
at this point, it's gotta be from stress.
oatmeal_queen: (lost)
How things stand so far wiff ma knee )

as a side note, i just ate the slimiest salad known to man. *shudders* and what i thought was a kidney bean, was a purple olive. now that one caught me off guard x.x (/random)
oatmeal_queen: (lick me)
I'm in between good and bad.

I think that's ok tho, considering that the lesser of that spectrum would suck, so i'm not trying to curse myself by not being spectacularly happy.
there's therapy for shit like this.

still, i'm getting by. still on the diet, and actually doing fairly well :3 better than i thought i would, compared to my track record. Still stuck with eating veggies and those damn shakes, but i'm not really craving anything anymore and i don't eat as much (DEFINATELY a plus) i'm hoping the longer i ignore myself and just do this, the easier it will be to form it into a habit. i wants skinny legs!

which, speaking of, to my great irritation, i'm having knee problems. not the usual tho, of which i don't really speak of, but like, seriously awful wake me up at night and hurt when i move knee issues XP i should probably see someone, but i know what'll come of it so i'm not bothering unless it's seriously bad. (trust me, i'd know the difference)
but anyway, what really gets me about it is that it's (a)only one knee, and (b)it only hurts to BEND it. which is new. walking doesn't hurt, it just feels like a wooden board. :\ the hurting comes from holding still for awhile or trying to crouch down/kneel.

so i'm comparing them both last night (knees, that is) and it ends up that the one that's hurting looks really different from the other. my theory on this is that i'm losing weight really awkwardly, and whatever support that knee used to have is now gone. crap. which explains why it doesn't hurt as much when i support it with my own hands. wraps are useless, they don't stay on, and i have yet to find a brace that doesn't fall. so...fuck. i'm gonna ask my fatdoc when i go see her next, but still, how random is that? You'd think that knee issues would be in -gaining- weight, not losing it D: but whatever. i just hate being gimpy all the time.

looking forward to this weekend which i will be spending with my Crissy at an EGL tea party :D! of which, i should probably pull out all of my costume stuff that got shoved in with con crap. ew. should actually do that today...

Got myself kicked back into gear with re-writing my novel, which makes me happy ^___^ it's been far too long since i've been able to kick something outta my useless ass, but since i haven't really been RPing anymore, my writing brain is starved x.x (amazing how that works) so, props to working on the first book, which i hope to get finished by next year (fingers crossed!)

just recently got myself into FullMetal Alchemist, which is an AMAZING series and i love it a great deal :3 wish i'd given it a chance before, but then, there hasn't been much reason for faith in anime lately. still, glad to be proven otherwise XD i'm almost through all the dvd's, but methinks then i'm gonna have to get myself into the manga (so sayeth Shadra). no regrets there. I'd doodle some FMA art if i didn't think all the cool stuff has already been done, lol. ^^;

everything otherwise? nothing too interesting. we went to Atlanta a week or so ago for AWA. it was fun, the drive was not, but then, me shoved into a little car for ten hours isn't exactly high on my list. Nekocon is coming up at the beginning of November, which also brings the chance for me to finally get my first (and only) little YoSd dolfie ^.^ (tho the doll and the con aren't related, just so you know)

October has my favorite holiday (durrr if you don't know which one) and I love this time of year in general, but damned if i can get into the spirit yet :( usually i'd be counting the days to halloween since, like, july, but i got nothin. no costume either, which really bums me out ;.; WHAT SHOULD I BE?!

i crave a pumpkin. e.e

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