oatmeal_queen: (kitty sit and twitch)
Oog this week X__x

so far, i'm halfway through my first week of being officially back to work. full days and everything. hasn't been as difficult as i thought it was going to be, though there's been some juggling about what to do with figuring out the protein shakes i need to get in, along with taking lunch everyday. i never did that before, but hey, whatever's easy on the wallet, right?

on the other hand, because of all the protein i've been taking in (not to mention the still healing thing) i can only go for about two hours before i HAVE TO GET UP and walk around or something. I used to be able to go a full day without getting up from my desk for anything aside from food or bathroom. it's weird actually having energy. totally not angry about this, tho i gotta make sure i still get my work done in the process, lol.

eating is still weird. but peanut butter no longer hates me. HUZZAH.

Zombieland is my new favorite movie. no, srsly. totally gonna be a zombie for Halloween X3

was having kind of a blah day today which ended with me picking up my mail and finding a bill for the hospital that's around $600 :( which, unfortunately i knew was coming, it just wasn't nice to see.
HOWEVER, i then proceeded to open the rest of my mail which included a check from my insurance for the short term disability for work (SCORE) along with a letter from where i bought my car telling me they got my final payment.
the car, my Gabe, he's officially all mine.
that, and hanging out with friends tonight cheered me up immensely. if only my scar hadn't been hurting all stupid day. how very harry potter of me.

despite everything tho, i've been in pretty high spirits throughout everything. i have my bad days, but i've been more positive lately than i have in YEARS. <3

hurray for thursday! and for the weekend, looking forward to hanging with moar friends and being outdoorsy. should prove interesting, especially since i'm GETTING A PUMPKIN. WOO!
*dances* it's that time of year again!! *gleeeeee*

now if only this friggen Steampunk picture i've been drawing for the Dean/Cas fusion thinger would just ink it's own damn self e__e as much as i missed being a detail whore and have been having way too much fun steampunking the Imapala...aaauuuggghhh innnkkkinnnggg

speaking of steampunk, i've got a costume pulled together for Nekocon that i'm totally gonna sport. 8D stupid, nerdy excited doesn't even begin to cover it.


Oct. 13th, 2008 06:52 pm
oatmeal_queen: (calvin demands euphoria)

that's it. just sayin.
oatmeal_queen: (garfield surprise buttsex)
Got my prints done at Kinko's tonight, and they look awesome. :3 hurray for being productive! and doing everything at the last minute lol.
My co-worker today asked me if i was packed yet. pfffffft. yer funny.

I drew tonight! Woo! Some slashy fun times, (warning! mantouch! :O) but it was still drawing. and slash. and that made my evening. how bout yours? X3

i am so happy what time of year it is now, you don't even know. October is NEARLY HERE. Halloween baybe! woo!

ouch, man my throat hurts. i'd like my REAL voice back plzkthnx. I'm sick of either sounding like a dying, cancerous old woman or a twelve year old, bronchial child. wtf. if i still am not in possession of my correct voice by friday, i am going to be many different flavors of pissed. JamesBro called me yesterday and had a field day making fun of what he was hearing. damnit. that gives me no hope -.-
i need to invest in a punching bag.

still haven't convinced myself to go to the gym, BUT i DDRed for like, an hour yesterday with NO ASTHMATIC ISSUES. *so very much love* my knees gave out before my lungs even started to.
BLUE HAIR IS BLUE! or at least, parts of it X)

oh! forgot to mention earlier, [livejournal.com profile] rudelad737 took me to my first ever concert last week :3 which was loads of interesting and fun to be had, but i think my ears are still ringing from the noise x.x good lord. hot, crazy chicks dancing on stage and some mad guitar and drummin skillz all around. good times were definately had ^.^ just thought i'd make note since it WAS my first real concert. FINALLY.

sleep tiems ahoy. roomies are home and passed out, i should prolly do the same. didn't sleep much last night cause i think one of the cats discovered my pillow and left me with a great urge to claw my damn eyes out before benadryling myself unconscious. fucking cat fur. XP
oatmeal_queen: (denial)
'hello again, welcome back to limbo.'
ugh. pass.

as if this week hasn't been irritating enough, today's rain is just making everybody INSANE. no exageration. city people can't cope when there their world is wet, it seriously makes them crazy, wtf, STAY HOME.

gawd i'm freezing. i'm in long sleeves (of which to note, tis a shirt i haven't been able to wear in years, woo) but i can't feel my fingers. which blows since all i work with are my hands. a.r.g.h. it's one of the drawbacks to loosing weight, unfortunately. pretty much the top of the list.
and oh yes, there is a list.
most of the people i know have never actually lost a great deal of weight (notice, i said most) but despite how much i know this is going to be good for me regardless, i'm out of my comfort zone and it's driving me nuts.
for example:
-i'm cold (still) almost all of the time.
-my rings keep sliding off my fingers. i'm terrified of losing them.
-i can wear some of my old shirts, but i have very few pairs of jeans that will fit me now. it makes me feel dumpy and it's still too soon to buy new ones :(
-i'm uncomfortable in my own skin. (that's a big one)
-i'm not losing weight everywhere, so i'm finding that i look kinda disproportionate :\ doesn't really help the esteem issue.
-i'm more nervous in public now than i was 25 lbs bigger. which makes no sense aside from the fact that i feel awkward.

and this is just the beginning. i've never been small. atleast, not that as far back as i can remember. it's like, losing a limb, slowly and one piece at a time. dealing at through stages where you are left without assistance in coping.
now, i KNOW i need this. seriously i do, but this is where, everytime i've done this, i end up giving up. because i'd rather be comfortable than miserable and i only have myself to listen to. which, isn't very promising.
i've found myself missing my family a great deal lately and i've been having horrible nightmares.
i miss hugs something terrible. real, honest hugs. and i'm lonely in a house full of people, it makes no sense.

i'm grateful for having my drawing muse back, tho i miss my writing one. i keep getting stuck on stupid(STUPID) parts of the story and it makes me want to stop and forget about the entire damn thing, as if it would really be that easy. new fandoms have been great, but fleeting. i'm living day to day again.

but enough of that. i just needed to vent, as usual.
i'm grateful that this diet is working, even tho i miss being warm.
i'm looking forward to halloween. which makes me smile because i fell in love with a pumpkin this week and i get to carve it. <3
i finally got my hands on Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness and I have been enjoying them immensely along with any other scary movie i can get my hands on in the house X)
my knee is MUCH better, and i want to try some cardio stuff -soon-. (ddr, bellydance, etc.)
tomorow i'm going to 'field of screams' with some friends at work. ^_^
i may be cold, but i'm not dying of heat.

but finally, THIS looks terrifying.

EDIT: oh, btw, is there anyone on my f-list who thinks they might have the time for me to bounce some story ideas/problems off of? preferably someone with writing experience that i can reach over AIM? i'd appreciate it if anyone's willing ^.^


oatmeal_queen: (Default)

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