Purple Carrot Concentrate

NEW DAY
newdaynewdaynewday
Let's try this again. Less emo this time.
i gotta stop letting other people's troubles get me down, especially when i've got my own issues to worry about atm.

I greatly dislike wednesdays, but I'll deal. it'll be better than yesterday anyway. Last night suuuuuucked, but I called Kat and she cheered me up with her crazy. <3 you woman.
still haven't called any family, but i'm workin on it.

the commission pics are FINISHED. Or at least, I've sent off the final colored versions for approval. once i get the thumbs up, they are dun. *eep!*
so now i've got the ACEN stuff i gotta get finished for AngelJules along with whatever art i'm taking overseas at the end of May.
*phew* busybusy. which is good.

In other news, and because i'm going to happily let myself off the hook and geek out a little...
why does Misha have to be so friggen cute? I watched some of the vids from the LA supernatural con and GAWD. like i really need more reasons to turn beet red when i finally get to meet him? STOP BEING AWESOME. ACTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE JERKS.
ok, that is all. <3

hey sammywhatammy! where's that chibimoon/helios sketch?! *grabby hands*

I went soul searching yesterday but all I found was a missing pair of socks. Which is ok, I guess, but it would have been more helpful to find the tv remote instead. i swear it got sucked into a black hole somewhere between my bed and my desk (about three feet).

Nothing too interesting going on, but my brother scolded me for not updating so that he knows for sure that i'm not deadand can't have my stuff. he's so sweet, lol X)
speaking of the sasquatch tho, he now has in possession the wedding ring he's gonna propose with to his number one fan this weekend. (and holy hell what a rock) this should be interesting X) as happy as i am for him (AND I AM, JAMES) i still can't help the lingering painful thought in my head that my baby brother is gonna get married. i'll wave the flag of encouragement no matter what, but i still bristle regardless. that's MY bro, cheerleader. handle with care. :F

Otherwise, been working steadily on the commish stuff now that the go ahead was given to do color. It reminds me why i never do commissions tho x.x cause holy hell, i spent ALL OF YESTERDAY (when i wasn't working) just trying to fix ONE of them cause it was giving me such a hard time. geezus that was annoying. and it was the Castiel one too. figures. you'd think i'd never drawn a damn angel before. i was FINALLY able to adjust it enough that it looks good, but man...snjv@alwk!jefaqf. i wouldn't be freaking out about these so much if i didn't know they were going to be printed/sold. gawd. the less i think about that fact the better x.x
so now it's four down, seven to go ^^;
i've been asked once again about travel info and it's driving me bonkers cause i'd love to just get a YES or NO about the UK trip. *__* aarrrggghh. tell meeeeee. *shakes fist* cause my plans for May will be a whole hell of a lot different depending on that answer.
*sigh* this is why i hate planning things.
but i want to go so badly too, if just to go. moreso for the country than the con, but one is just the plus of the other. :3

Dear doc's office. CALL ME. OMG. SOMEONE FRIGGEN CALL ME.
*fumes*

in other news,
happytemplar's mama put in the checks we gave her for the grand canyon trip next year, so now i have no other choice X) which is both frightening and awesome cause it's exciting as hell despite the fact that i'm gonna be POOR. omg. i may change my mind on this commission thing afterall x.x
But rafting down the Colorado river for two weeks? so gonna be worth it.

this may seem like a lot going on, but it's cleverly disguised X)
when i get finished with these commission pieces, i swear i am pulling out my dust covered markers and damn well using them. no more excuses.
at this point, i'm generally cranky and busy, but i'm ok. :) and i can work with that.

I am so glad this week is over x.x ugh.
Ended up going to the docs afterall, but thankfully we all pretty much agree that I simply bruised the hell outta my tailbone and nothing is actually broken. Course, I think I could have been able to tell if it was, but still. Glad to know its something that will just take time to heal, and WILL heal.

on the unfortunate side, sitting is still a bad idea. that, and i had to miss another day of work since the doc gave me Vicodin and told me to go home and get off my ass (lol) thus, i spent another day bored to tears at home and feeling bad for getting nothing done this week >.< mnargh. of all weeks, especially since i know things are busy at work. lame.

i didn't even get to see Watchmen yet ;.; even with the time off, i can't even sit in a chair for ten minutes, let alone three hours. i'd lay in an aisle if they didn't have science experiments for floors.
totally lost the chance to go for the NJcon this weekend too, but oh well. money i shouldn't spend anyway and a long trip that my tailbone would not have enjoyed. meeting Misha and getting to see Sammy would have been cool, but not if i'm cranky and hurting. no one deserves that. (miss u girl!)

the bizarre thing about this whole experience tho, is the fact that i noticed after i started taking the Vicodin that, even though my tailbone was still kinda aching, my knees didn't hurt AT ALL. it weirded me out at first until i realized what was going on. then i got excited about it. and then it just made me sad. cause srsly, should it really be this shocking to NOT have the pain in my knees?
Christie laughed and told me I was like House.
Ironically, she was the second person to say that to me recently. ifail.
and tho i know better than to think i can just keep taking the stuff, it gives a bit of a perspective as to why these things can get addicting. i'd love to be able to walk around like this all of the time without pain, but long term meds at this kinda strength can do other kinds of damage and i know better. *el sigh*

another weird thing about this injury and totally TMI is that i think i forced something to shift in my hip where it usually wouldn't rotate (lol, that sounds weird) i was stretching my poor bruised muscles and realized i could move backwards in a way i hadn't before. not painfully, just different and a bit more flexible. nothing like a little forced and repeatedly jarring pain to reset some boundaries. ouch.

on the plus side, the one good thing about being home this much means that i've been getting commission work and con art done, and that's a -big- plus. also, been just doodling in general with whatever i feel like, and i'm happy to have my muse again. still haven't touched the markers, but i know i'll get there. i had a spot in the old house where i would do all of my coloring, and i think i just need to find that kinda thing here in the new place.

oh! a question for all the SPN peeps on my f-list. Part of the commission i'm doing includes the YED, and for the life of me, i can't think of a pose for him that isn't just him standing there looking menacing with his arms crossed. I mean, srsly, there HAS to be something else i can have him doing without looking too dumb. I know the guy wasn't exactly an action star...but isn't there something, anything else he could be doing? it's chibi, but i still have a decent range of what i can work with. anybody got any ideas? help?

*gasp*
Majel Roddenberry, 'First Lady of Star Trek,' dies;
;_________;
nuuuuu!
Lwaxana Troi! The voice of the Enterprise! MY CHILDHOOD!
*sob*

aw, man. so much lame. her final send out will be the voice of the ship in the next star trek film tho, so at least they got that right (so far). had to happen sometime tho, i guess.
how is Shatner still around? man.

I am STILL getting through all of the comments from my last post. good lord. XD i'm so glad everyone liked that picture so much! which reminds me that i still need to finish the rest of the art I've been working on for christmas gifts and the like. >.>

Tricked myself back into doing crochet again and am enjoying every minute of it (aside from the carpal tunnel, but we don't talk about that aloud) otherwise, i'm generally keeping myself distracted to avoid loosing it before the holiday.
and oh, it's coming.
next week.
x.x

augh, man. so msn news has lists of the ten most popular boy and girl names of the year, and just for shits and giggles i checked it out.
the top name chosen for girls for this year was 'Isabella'. and i'm like, ok, that's cool, it's a pretty name...
and then it dawned on me as to why that's the top one. and i suddenly feel badly for an entire year's worth of young girls.
*headdesk*
ironically (thankfully) there was no Edward in the top list for boys.
but there is a Jacob.
i hate that i know these damn characters XP stupid proxy.

I'm debating on trying to get back into some serious writing now that I've been granted a few random prompts here and there of interesting ideas. Fanfic, yes, but it's better than no writing at all and at least it gets the wheel's churning. of course, i'd like to do something that'll force me to pay attention as well, like limiting to a certain number of words. hard to believe, but that's actually something i have a great deal of difficulty doing.
Conversations with Molly and hearing about Joe's recent adventures with 'Dead Space' have spiked a morbid interest back into Silent Hill. Psychological horror isn't something I've really played with when it comes to writing, but I'll try anything once. If only to see if I can.
Diz also dared me to do a short fic in the SPN universe involving two OC's just to see if i could pull it off without getting too wordy. I may just take her up on that X)

i'm looking forward to seeing my family. this is a good thing. let's see how long it lasts.

I was totally being nostalgic last night.
and it's completely sammywhatammy's fault. that's right, you heard me woman. I BLAME YOU. i don't really remember how it happened, but i got into a conversation that led me to search on youtube for a bunch of my childhood loves. stuff that barely anyone had heard of yet my bros and i watched continuously until the Betamax died a horrible death.

so that would be stuff like sea prince and the fire child, the wild swans (i couldn't BELIEVE i found that again. good lord the amazing amounts of cheese) and of course, Unico <3 my first ever anime. anyone else remember this? cause i damn well do. hell, i even found the old live action version of alice in wonderful that scared so many kids that they took it off the market.

but anyway, since Sammy dared me, i doodled a pic of Unico. cause i loved those movies as a kid and still love them now.
something else i should have an icon for and don't :( woe.

There, see Sammy? LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
i'm totally gonna color it too XD

that was way too long of an explanation for just being a nerd.
LONG LIVE BETAMAX.

*sigh* Adobe Suite Cs3...how you tempt me.
why, why, WHY must you be so expensive?
Why must I want you soooo much when you're 500 dollars outside of my price range? why must Cs2 suck so badly as it stalls and eats up my memory randomly? why can't illustrator 10 and photoshop Cs2 be open at the same time without my system being rigged like a bloody RENDER FARM?
Why must i WANT you SO DAMN BADLY when you're SO MUCH MONEY.
WHY?!?!
*sob*

I have it at work, but not at home. such a damn tease.

mrf. with all the things i have to spend money on, i wish it was easier to make do with what i have. but i think my irritation is worth at least a couple hundred at this point.
and yes, i know Cs4 suite is out. I'm not even going there.

Got my prints done at Kinko's tonight, and they look awesome. :3 hurray for being productive! and doing everything at the last minute lol.
My co-worker today asked me if i was packed yet. pfffffft. yer funny.

I drew tonight! Woo! Some slashy fun times, (warning! mantouch! :O) but it was still drawing. and slash. and that made my evening. how bout yours? X3

i am so happy what time of year it is now, you don't even know. October is NEARLY HERE. Halloween baybe! woo!

ouch, man my throat hurts. i'd like my REAL voice back plzkthnx. I'm sick of either sounding like a dying, cancerous old woman or a twelve year old, bronchial child. wtf. if i still am not in possession of my correct voice by friday, i am going to be many different flavors of pissed. JamesBro called me yesterday and had a field day making fun of what he was hearing. damnit. that gives me no hope -.-
i need to invest in a punching bag.

still haven't convinced myself to go to the gym, BUT i DDRed for like, an hour yesterday with NO ASTHMATIC ISSUES. *so very much love* my knees gave out before my lungs even started to.
BLUE HAIR IS BLUE! or at least, parts of it X)

oh! forgot to mention earlier, rudelad737 took me to my first ever concert last week :3 which was loads of interesting and fun to be had, but i think my ears are still ringing from the noise x.x good lord. hot, crazy chicks dancing on stage and some mad guitar and drummin skillz all around. good times were definately had ^.^ just thought i'd make note since it WAS my first real concert. FINALLY.

sleep tiems ahoy. roomies are home and passed out, i should prolly do the same. didn't sleep much last night cause i think one of the cats discovered my pillow and left me with a great urge to claw my damn eyes out before benadryling myself unconscious. fucking cat fur. XP

So...when i mentioned back in february that I couldn't wait until warmer weather...
this isn't what i meant.
not by a long shot. yikes.

rudelad737 and I about DIED on saturday when we went on our weekly hike to Manassas battlefield. i went to a bbq that evening and was ready to pass out by six, i was that exhausted from marching through the scorching three digit heat. ugh. thankgawd for sunscreen x.x

AMA is this weekend. not overly excited, but not hating the idea, so we'll work with what comes X)

we had James' birthday this past weekend with a trick my mother came up with to try and get David to have a birthday too. i was reeeeally hesitant and unsure of just how he was going to react to that, but in the end, once faced with gifts and smiling, guilty faces, he gave in :3 which made me so gloriously happy. So the weekend was well spent with good company and family and fun was had by all. An immense relief from the tension that had been building between us. It was nice to see my mother happy ^.^

i was given an LJ virtual gift! :O zomg! never had one of those before :D NEAT.

Been doodling LOTS. lol. so i figured i may as artdump as i'm being yelled at for only posting in lj communities that none of my f-list are in, lol. SORRY. most of it is supernatural fanart, so as a warning, some of the jokes may not make sense. thus warned.
not dialup friendly. ;) when i say ARTDUMP, i mean it this time.

( here thar be art )

art aside, things are normal. i'm doing well, if not a little overworked and overtired. one of the shelves in my room collapsed this morning and made a monstrosity of a mess out of a now 'rest in pieces' ceramic plate x.x but most everything else made it out intact. including the dolfie i had sitting on the edge of it *breathes*
crisis happily averted.

i just got the 'tin man' series in the mail from netflix today, so methinks some drawing/watching is in order for me this evening X) so not complaining.

I'm on the plus side. positive stuff, fluffy kittens, no injuries and nothing dramatic.
check.
*clings to april* screw u march.

my muse came back to me the first day of april, wrapped herself around my waist and won't let go ^__^ *beam* all is forgiven. i finally got around to ordering my next few copics/refills now that the cases are in stock and i got it, like, a day after. holy crap. i LOVE these people :D
not to mention i was holding off on coloring anything until i got the new colors and figured i'd have the time to procrastinate while shipping, but i guess not.
!@#$*%%^&* THE NEW COLORS! OMGGEEKOUTHAPPY! ^______^

i was bad today and had the most glorious and expensive cupcake i've ever had in my life. but it was glorious and i loved it. gotta live a little bit, right?
which means no whining over the weight thing. i get it.

Been pushing myself into working more with group shots, drawing wise. EVENTUALLY i WILL get that damn picture done for my brother, i swear i will. i'm so awful. a few months is one thing to hold off on a commission, but six years? gawd i'm an awful sister ;.; cheers to inspiration. and references. anyone got any good ff6 refs they'd like to share? :3

i'm weak and got some new tshirts. damnit. i can't resist. i am so incredibly suited for my current job it's not even funny XD but you can't blame me on this one...considering that my zombie food shirt is now two sizes too big on me, i need to refill my zombie quota.
you heard me.

lots of OT, lots of stress, but manageable. the money is good anyway.
writing more, drawing more
found myself an awesome boyfriend :3
getting along with family (FINALLY)
now...now i just need an adventure.

cheers to having some decent days.

i'm ok.

If i didn't write it out sometimes, i don't think i'd really believe it. but in all actuality at this present time, i really am ok.
but not great. (which is just going to have to do)

I had been building up a lot throughout the week with no real way to let any of it out, and that's probably what was tearing me up. mom called me on tuesday and i ended up just pouring my heart out over the phone (lord, my poor mother) but felt better for it after.
i feel so damn lethargic tho. as if nothing exciting is going on. Either that or i'm just subconsiously refusing to notice...it's happened before.

i am, however, commited to focusing on better things and happier moments. so here goes.

spent all day saturday with joe, leo and diz watching an entire season of Justice League. My love for batman grows evermore X) i never would have paired him with wonder woman...but for some reason, that works. weird.

reached my 'down fifty pounds' mark and earned myself the little yo sd doll that Shadra was kind enough to pick up for me in Cali. He's really cute and doesn't creep me out. win. thus he shall be my Raph.

i was getting frustrated with my art until i kicked myself in the head and went back to what i knew best. yes, everyone else around me can sketch quickly and messily; and -yes- it drives me nutz if i try and fail to do the same thing. XP i'm too clean of a sketcher, therefore, if i'm going to get it done on my own without assistance, then i have to put it all together piece by piece and it'll take me longer. but phooey. that's how i've always done it, and that's how i'm gonna keep doing it. BAH.
but, rant aside, once i reverted back to an old technique (and about two days of getting irritated) i got something drawn :) win.
Diz says i'm getting better at hands
THE HAND MASTER herself says i'm getting better.
another win.

i'd be ordering my next set of copics if the damn clear cases were in stock already...argh. just when one thing is in stock, another goes out. XP although i've had little urge to color atm so i'm thus ending up with a pile of things i'll need to color later x.x

i miss my story.

talked to my friend Stephy the other day who is now in the process of seeking out the material to make my olivier costume. which is exciting for all the nerdiest reasons. ^.^
my org 13 coat should be coming in the mail soon too. gotta get those platform boots fixed if i wanna be taller tho...crap.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, but I already have a feeling that tomorow is going to be long and tiring. simply because i have a soccer game tonight that doesn't -start- until 10, (wtf) and who knows how long that'll go to.
yes, you heard me right X)
unfortunately, my mutant legs won't fit into any human made shinguards.
this is gonna hurt.

a final thanks to everyone for the love and concern this week. despite the fact that i was crabby, irritable, whiny and sobby...the love is more than appreciated. *heart* i hope you all realize that.
and i'm ok.